That place called ShangriLa

In a few hours time, I'll be enroute to China, kunMing, LiJiang....

A trek is waiting... through that place called ShangriLa...

The stubborn me still refuses to acknowledge that the place IS ShangriLa...

But we shall see...

Been awhile...

It's been awhile, since I last cycled this long... for almost 2 hours before we returned the rented bicycles.

It's been awhile, since I last went to East Coast Park, so took the opportunity to get a friend to come along for rollerblading.

It had been such a long while that we only found out that the shop renting blades is no longer there. So we had to take the bicycle. A good thing it turned out to be.

We headed towards the direction of the airport.
Along the way, looking at the many changes that had taken place since the last time we had been there.
Many "new" roads appeared where they were once just gravel paths.
We can actually go as far up as Changi Beach, which is actually 2 different places just a few years back.
Along the way, there are people preparing for picnics and BBQs. Cyclist and bladers going our way or coming our way.
Passing by the sea sports club, we see many people preparing to rig up their sailing boats or wind surfing board to head out to sea. Aaaaaahhh! How I miss both activities...

Why do we deny ourselves of things we enjoy doing?
Because bread is more important? Because bread is more important...
But isn't that sad?

Must remember to spend some time to get connected with the "Been awhile" activities that I enjoyed so much again.

灯笼高挂

那天下午，到Studio去，看见了高挂的灯笼。

鬼节过了，人们现在正准备过中秋了。

高高地挂着，其实也瞒好看的。

朋友不见了

一个下着雨的下午，独自在Studio里。

每每看见饮水机，就会想起把该机给我的朋友。




每每接到订单时，也会想起鼓励我售卖自制Tiramisu的朋友。


但最近，这位朋友开始用淡如水的君子之交来划分我们之间的友谊。
稍多一句慰问也不愿回复。

也许这是她想保持距离的方法吧。
无奈。。。

从来不喜强迫别人做些他们不想做的事，就只好任由别人过他们选择的生活。

虽然仍能与其联络，却仍觉得有个朋友不见了。。。

一个久违了的下午

好久没在下午的时间，在茶骨禅心喝茶了。

与友人享用了午餐，再到茶室去。

正如所料，友人非常喜欢该处。

所带来的朋友当中，没有一个不喜欢的。


又如以往，还是叫了柚子茶。



友人叫了红毛丹茶。


两人就坐在舒适的环境里闲聊。

而本来的目的，就是要闲聊。

曾经一度常来这里度过下午的时光，等着下一堂课的时间到来。

又回到这里，感觉真不错。

一个悠闲的下午。。。

一个久违了的下午。。。

《钥匙开启的联想》的联想

“只有一种钥匙是我不讨厌的，那是无形的心扉的钥匙，上苍在每个人出世时为那支钥匙吻上爱的祝福，暗暗塞在另一个人身上了，所以我们的一生，总在寻觅着，也在等待着。也许你是幸运的，那人让你在华年正值时逢上了，也许你就那样地找了一生，等了一生。
当然你仍旧可以过精彩的一生，只不过偶而你会惦着，素未谋面的那人，以及那一支也在静静等着的钥匙。。。”

《最后的牛车水》
梁文福
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

世上的人何其多，要找得到那个持有我们心扉的钥匙的人，何其难。
可能如梁文福说的，那人让你在年华正值时逢上了，你也许就是幸运的。
也有许多人穷尽一生去找，等了一生，也都还找不着。

人都是多虑的，也许已逢上了那个人，但却因害怕受伤，正当钥匙接近心扉时，却毅然离去，选择了去过其精彩的一生。偶而顿了一顿，看着周遭的人们，朋友，可能也会想一想那位持有钥匙的人。

现今的人，越来越复杂，越来越多层次。一支钥匙竟能打开数扉心门。
也许也该学学银行的网络服务，都需要加码才够稳当。

心痛的感觉

是什么留住了我的眼泪 是天上的星星还是霓虹灯

又一次要和爱情说再见 扬起头不流泪



是什么忍住了我的伤悲 是街上的行人还是夜色太美

我独自穿过了匆匆人群 一个人不流泪（一个人不伤悲）



啊 我告诉自己爱情已远去 何必又何必 何必再想你

啊 这一分冷漠它掩盖了我 心痛的感觉它侵蚀了我

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



无意间听到了苏芮诠释的这首歌-- 《心痛的感觉》

也正好唱出了此刻的心情。

心痛些什么，其实自己也不大知道。

太爱对方了，但又好像不是很爱。

太喜欢对方了，但自己却没这么认为过。

反复思索，得到的唯一结论就是事情的突发性。完全没有征兆。完全没一点警告。

纯粹的分手还没怎样，但她要分手是为了要与另一个说是认识不到二个月的人结婚。

天啊！！这样的事都有。

但的确是发生了。

除了接受，也只有接受。

死的死，伤的伤，走的走。。。

“我们这一班（我们这一班）上课不专望着篮球场。。。
我们这一班（我们这一班）测验偷看分数都一样。。。

。。。因为小时寥寥，大未必佳”


正当年少之时，谁会去想十多二十年后的事。
心里明白，这么多年以后的变化，就等这么多年以后才来适应它。

毕业以后，和同班同学都很难得能聚一聚。各忙各的。
绝大部分都是为了文凭而忙。

偶尔聚一聚，仍然年少，仍然未来还是很多的变化在等待。

转眼间，到了多年以后。年少不再，未来仍是多变的等待。

有的同学因患了病症，仙逝了。
三不五时，仍会想想，当得知患病时的惊讶，医院探病时的慰问，病情恶化时的无奈，恶讯传来时的惊吓。。。

有的同学因没好好调理身子，患病了。
三不五时，仍会想想，有机会要好好劝劝他们，有时间要好好督促他们，有能力要好好帮帮他们。。。

有的同学选择寻找更广阔的天空，移民了。
三不五时，仍会想想，远在他乡的他们还好吗，有时会想想我们吗，有空会回来看看我们吗。。。

人生充满了无数的生离死别。。。

惟有尽量享受它的多变。

朝闻道，夕死可矣。

Stars in the sky

There's always stars in the sky.

But we might not always see them.

First time I saw them "up close" was in OBS when the instructor took us up to a hilltop. That was the brightest I had seen them.

Second time was when I was in Australia. We get to see them almost everynight.

Recently, a friend told me about her bus ride back from Thailand to Singapore. Was almost a 24hrs bus ride. So some of the time, she was just lying back on the seat, leaning close to the window, looking at the stars up overhead.

She had alot on her mind... so I reckon that most of the time, her thoughts were running wildly... about "what if this", "what if that". Hopefully she can resolve most of them and have a much more relaxed ride back next time.

Still, I'm able to picture that ride. And looking up at the stars glittering so brightly in the night sky.

A few carefree hours before class

Sitting in one corner of Leng Kee CC, couple of hours before the start of the class.

The flat that envelopes the whole "window" of the stairwell.

Part of the length of the flat.

Neighbourhood children playing street soccer.


Was very much early for class, so explored the CC and came to this quiet little corner of the building.

Looks like a cosy little corner, that's the first impression. Then you see the flat just covering the whole "window" of the stairwell, which gives it a very down to earth, neighbourhood kind of feel. And this is exactly the kind of feeling that these older flats give me... everytime. It's a good feeling! A home kind of feel.

Looking over the wall of the stairwell, you see shops on the ground floor of the flat... Some are in business, some are closed, for rest or forever, that I will never know. But infront of these shops, just beyond the covered corridor, there is a cemented area where there are round marble tables. These are the old school tables with a round stump of a stool on the "North, South, East and West" side of the table. And either a chinese or english chess "maps" engraved onto the surface.

An elderly man was seated on one of the two table reading newspaper.

On the right end of the flat was a court for street soccer. It's the school holidays now, so some of the neighbourhood boys are playing in the court. Some were just talking along the side of the court, some were kicking the ball around.

Reminds me of a time when my cousins and I will gather at the playground during school holidays and play traditional games of catching or hide-and-seek, or think up new games to play. Thinking of these post war estates, they were really made for residency. Buildings are well spaced and grass patches in abundance. These are really luxuries in current day Singapore.

After enough of looking around, settled onto the steps and began reading my book on Osteoporosis. Loads of new information( or rather, already existing) poured into the brain... but the brain is too cluttered to absorb all of them...

De-Cluttering is in order!!

These few hours in that little corner feels so relaxed, and out of a world filled with materialistic worries. Would like to have alot more of these carefree days, but that would probably make me a bankrupt. Balance... is still key to staying sane.

西海岸公园

读了Neil Humphreys 的 Complete Notes From Singapore, 毅然记起，最靠近现下所居之处，不就是他书里提到的"Hidden Gem" 的西海岸公园。

上个星期二，教完了课，就开车往那里去。

泊好下车，往麦当劳走去。

买了杯冰咖啡，就到公园逛去了。

最后一次来时，公园还围了铁墙。

现在，铁墙已拆除。

海，也显得靠近很多了。

也蛮多人在公园里。

但没有东海岸公园那么拥挤。

果然能称得上是颗 "Hidden Gem"

Departures - おくりびと。大事业

反复重看“Departures” 一片，其中一幕常让我有所感触。





妻子，女儿和孙女儿在往生者的额头和脸颊上，吻上一吻，留下了口红印。笑成一团。


接着，妻子说了句“Papa...ありがとう”（爸爸。。。谢谢您）

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
每个人都希望在有生之年能成就一番大事业。为了这番大事业，用尽了手段来换得名与利。
虽然最终的目的是达到了，但却也遭受多少人的唾骂。
死了之后，人家还觉得是件大喜事，可能还大事庆祝。

想想，死了之后，还有人会哭着，不舍地对你说声“谢谢”。。。这才算是真真正正的大事业吧。
人生最成功的事业。

If

If

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you, You're all that's left me too.

And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,

Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was one early morning in 1995, I was still in camp fulfilling my obligation to my country.
After all our usual activities of keeping the bunk clean and whatever nots,
We were just resting in bunk, waiting for more "arrows" to come.

I picked up the guitar plucking at it's chords, whistling to the rhythm of "IF".

If you can imagine, the sun shining through half-opened window panes, the ceiling fans spinning to it's own beats.
Us in the same bunk just lying around resting.
The gentle musical notes from the guitar, and whistling to the tune of the song.

After playing the song, a bunk mate commented that it was beautiful.
A beautiful moment.

I can't help but agreed with his comment.
It was so peaceful... so calm...
Like there isn't a care in the world...
Amidst the weapons of war, it was a beautiful moment in time...
At that age when we are in between innocence and in the know....
Just barely stepping into our twenties...
Just in our transition between boys and men... (In my opinion, many are still boys. ;p)
It was a beautiful moment.

Years on, I still remember it vividly.
Whenever I played the song again, I will always be reminded of that moment.
One of those that you will always remember...

半字歌

看破浮生过半，半之受用无边。
半中岁月尽幽闲，半里乾坤宽展。
半郭半乡村舍，半山半水田园。
半耕半读半经廛，半士半民姻眷。
半雅半粗器具，半华半实庭轩。
衾裳半素半轻鲜，肴馔半丰半俭。
童仆半能半拙，妻儿半朴半贤。
心情半佛半神仙，姓字半藏半显。
一半还之天地，让将一半人间。
半思后代与沧田，半想阎罗怎见。
饮酒半酣正好，华开半吐偏妍。
帆张半扇免翻颠，马放半缰稳便。
半少却饶滋味，半多反厌纠缠。
百年苦乐半相参，会占便宜只半。

~~~~~~~~~~~

这是对中庸哲学的形象阐释，它将天地人生的种种现象与关系写得绘声绘色，一览无余，其中在对天地万物的悲悯中又有着达观超然的人间情怀。没有对世界，人生的本质性理解，如何能深刻，透彻以至于此。作者也将天地间的冷暖，得失，出入，是非，进退，悲欢描述得更是入木三分。

Extracted from - 《舍一点是得到》

Leaving Malaysia... unchopped!!

Have you ever tried leaving a country without the "Departed" chopped on your passport?

Happened to me... first time...

All happened only because my brother forgot to bring along the key for his car pedal lock. So I had to drive into JB just to pass him the key so that he can carry on his journey to his Kelong Fishing...

On the way out, I was just following the cars infront. Because I seldom drive into Malaysia, I didn't see where the custom is... And I simply drive through it without getting my passport chopped...

All the way home... I was still thinking something is wrong.... but what can I do now that I'm already back in Singapore...

Made a few calls... and the same reactions I get is... "You are in for it..."

That got me frightened... so called another friend to check if he is free to accompany back to Malaysia. Picked him up and headed back for the woodlands checkpoint.

At the immigration... told the officer what had happened. He checked with his supervisor.

And then told us to just go ahead into the country and to get the passport chopped on the way out...

Phew.... it was pure luck that they were in a good mood. Because I did check online and it seems that some people were detained...

That was it. Always remember to get your passport chopped...

Hehe...

Many years later...

Met up with some buddies from secondary school days. Buddies with whom I've been through thick and thin in the uniformed group we belonged to. We were part of the NCC Sea outft. 4 years worth of saturdays spent at this Sea Training Centre just underneath the Nicoll Highway. Don't know if it's still called the Kallang Sea Training Centre.

Taking up to about 10 people to carry those "Floating Coffins" when we were just a rookie trainee to just about 7 of us to carry a fibre-glass 8-footer boat in our prideful last year. Sailing Toppers in almost windless condition in Sembawang, with Encik Johnny shouting at us to lean the whole topper forward and blowing with our breaths... But under that windless condition, the toppers did move a teeny weeny bit.

From shooting the air rifles to the AR-15. And getting Tekan-ed during our sec 3 camp at a block named Endurance in the then Naval Training Base, which other than the training, is spiced with tales of the supernaturals and hidden tunnels.

Pulling the 8 footer in such unision and speed that every NCO and Cadet Lts wants a ride on our boat. The frustration of almost having our team broken up just a few minutes prior to the competition, to ultimately emerging as the champion pullers, despite an oar that popped out of it's socket halfway and Wang hammering it down with "Punteh". And Wong guiding the boat across the spectators stand so that we can bask in the cheers by our friends of our win, but which I remembered... there wasn't much cheering. ;p

Having to give up our NCO club room to the ladies in the Round Island Canoe Expedition on the 2nd day when we had to come back to KSTC halfway due to the heavy storm. Not having a room to sleep in, Mike and me made ourselves comfy in the NCO club locker room eating the trashbag full of butter biscuits that was left, or "karpoed" from some training camps.

The many times we have going to Kallang KFC to eat the cheapest thing... mashed potatoes with buns...
The drinks were free flow then...

In my memory, my secondary school days was actually spent at the NCC Sea Club House, which was at the perimeter fence nearest TKGS. Everyday without fail, I will make my way there whether before lesson, in between lesson or after lesson. It's a little piece of haven that I find friends to talk to and fool around with.

Other than that, it's the numerous times we have BBQ sessions at Yang's place, complementary of Yang's parents. Followed by the bunch of us cramming into Yang's room to spend the night. Usually ending with Mike and me talking till the wee hours before we knock out...

It's always good to meet up with old friends.... and reminisce of a more innocent time.

I look forward to the next time. :)

阿公的眠床脚

从来都不知道，[阿公的眠床脚]下有什么东西。阿公的房间从来都好像是个禁区。
只记得，到阿公的房间时，都是和他要口香糖的时候。

听这首歌，看它的MV。。。

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtUaPoxE35c

让我不禁想到，若干年后的自己，会有这样幸福的回忆吗？

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

江蕙-阿公的眠床脚
作词:巫宇轩 作曲:巫宇轩

阿公的眠床脚 藏着一支老吉他
三不五时举来弹 唱着日本时代的歌
阿公的眠床脚 放着一双旧牵拖
三不五时穿来行 行到门口听系世开讲
啊。。。人生行到这坎站 嘛已经八十冬
越头望见少年代的梦
想着彼个人 同顶眠床作伴
一种思念的心晟 思念的孤单

阿公的眠床脚 藏着一台老纺车
三不五时纺出声 借声思念伊身影
阿公的眠床脚 放着一领破雨衣
三不五时拿来看 面顶写着阿嬷的名

啊。。。人生行到这坎站 嘛已经八十冬
越头望见少年代的梦
想着彼个人 同顶眠床作伴
一种思念的心晟 思念的孤单

阿公的眠床脚 藏着心内 上深的牵挂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

西北雨

最近，刚学会了一只新的舞 -- 西北雨

老师说，[西北雨]的原名是[狮豹雨]。一路传下来，就变成了西北雨。
是台湾的一种雨，突然来，倾盆而下，时而带闪电。

一看过就很喜欢这只舞了。

它其实也是一首儿歌。

西北雨
西北雨，直直落，
鯽仔魚，欲娶某，
鮕代兄，打鑼鼓，
媒人婆仔，土虱嫂，
日頭暗，尋無路，
趕緊來，火金姑，
做好心，來照路，
西北雨，直直落，
西北雨，直直落，
白鷺鷺，來趕路，
翻山嶺，過溪河，
找無巢，跌一倒，
日頭暗，欲怎好，
土地公，土地婆，
做好心，來帶路，
西北雨，直直落。

What do you do on saturdays?

What do you do on saturdays?

Do you hang out with friends at some pubs or disco, or at a salsa bar showing off your latin moves?

Or do you need to work just like I do?

Like I have said before, current job is good. Especially when there is no one around... and you get to watch TV... haha...

Shit!!

You have to do another 25 hours of self practice before you can start on your vcasework because we feel that you are not familiar with the work....

Shit...
A delay in starting means the ending will be extended...


You can start doing your casework, but we got no more evening slots because it's all taken up.

Shit!
Those I had found who can only do in the evening will have to be dropped and I will need to find people who can do it during office hours...


You need to complete 120 hours before your final exams, of which 30hours are level 2 work.

SHIT!!
You don't have the slots, you don't have the space for more slots in the evening, so it becomes my problem if I'm not able to meet the hours because you can't give me the slots that I want??


Is this even right in the first place!?!?

老伴。。。

从一部香港连续剧里看到，一群人为了哄一位老太太吃饭，就想办法让她再感受到一些她最快乐的时光。

事后，老太太真的吃饭了。但也透露，她虽然瞎了，但还是知道这群人只是想哄她吃饭。她因为他们所做的事，也记起了当年和老伴一起的快乐日子。

多少人能够很快乐地记得与老伴很快乐的时光？

先别说老了，就是现在在一起的，有多少人能说他们是很快乐地在一起的呢？

要是真的快乐的话，应该就不会有太多的要求了吧？

Just another entry...

It's national day... but to me... it's just another day.



While most people look forward to the weekends or public holidays, a time where they can take a break from their busy and hectic life. To me, it's just another day. Have not known what it feels like to look forward to them... because have been doing works that has no regards for these festive celebrations. One day is no different from any other day. If you are allocated, you will work.



Situations are better in the current job in that the schedules are arranged by the few of us, so there is always give and take in the scheduling. Life is good for the moment. ;p



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I have ever told myself that I will never catch a movie by myself. But that was what I did just the other day. Surprisingly, I find myself enjoying it. Maybe, it's simply because my work time is so different from many of my friends, such that I'll just have to be content with being able to beat the crowd in most daily activities and errands, which is not a bad thing other than the being more lonely part. But then again, I have never been really bothered by loneliness. To me, it is just having more time to dwelve into oneself. Or to enjoy what one enjoys doing by oneself.

最后。。。

今天应该是最后一次来这里了。

近一年的时间，每周至少一次。

一个熟悉却陌生的地方。

虽然是学生宿舍，却很像私人公寓。

美观的外形和驻守着的保安人员。

怪不得前女友常喜欢来这里。虽然有点不方便，但是其幽静的环境，确实是个读书的好地方。

看着不同的学生来来去去，又想起了：“人面不知何处去，桃花依旧笑春风”

今夜以后，还会不会来这里呢？天晓得。。。

Aim for the moon...

"Aim for the moon... even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars."

Something is fundamentally wrong with this statement...

The moon had never appeared to be higher than the stars in anyway...

Physically, it's already been proven that the moon is the nearest rock to Earth... and the stars are the rocks that are further away.... way further than the Sun n fact.

But no doubt... it's the one that appears to be the biggest...

No time to exercise... Really?

On a certain day sometime ago...

"Let's plan a trip to Mt KK."

"Ok! Sounds great!"

"But we have to do some training to prepare ourselves..."

"Let us plan and make some time for the training."

Recently...

"Wah!! Stay at home... so free..."

"Got Euro 2008 and mahjong session later."

"......"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems to me that the homo sapien species are always capable of coming up with excuses for not doing something difficult... but beneficial...
And then complains about the poor state of fitness they are in...

When given a plan of action to improve that... they usually nod in mock agreement that that should be the way to go...

But when it comes to the execution of that plan... Time becomes a very precious comodity that is constantly used to delay the execution of the plan.

Everything and anything becomes more important...

Don't ask me how then.... because I belong to the homo sapien species too...

Guess... it's a matter of making it part of your lifestyle...

Feels tired...

No... not refering to me... but to a friend...
~~~~~~~~~~

Was on my way to the Pilates studio, and stopped at a traffic junction just outside a friend's cafe.

Looked into the shop and saw her walking around... attending to customers.

She was walking in her usual manner... but somehow... it felt tired.

Like she is carrying a burden and it is constantly weighing her down... wearing her off... wearing her away...

Guess I should just pop by one of these days...

Endpoint?? Better not have one...

Yes!! I made it for the Mid-Term examination.

Yes!! I cleared the Mid-Term performance test.

But the drilling has not ended...

Because we seek perfection in movement of the pieces...

So perfection is our goal.

But is that the endpoint?

It better not be... because if we do reach our goal... that will also be the end of our learning process...

We will become complacent... and we will always think we are the best...

Truth is... there never will be a best...

There is an ideal... but in years to come... this ideal will evolve to much more than what it is now.

That... is progression.

So there really is only one endpoint... death.

It's started...

So many months later... It's finally started...

Really started.

Grueling sessions of drilling for perfection... Yet it is not practice that makes perfect... but...

"Perfect Practice makes Perfect."

How true!!

There are no miracle pills that we can pop and Voila! It's done.

There is no shortcut to achieving it.

And the only way to it is to "Do.... do.... DO!!"

Gritting my teeth and DO DO DO!!

Looking forward to whatever little reward I can conjure up when I get through...

Most likely... a short getaway massage trip.

Really dying for one now... aches and all...

秋心赋

秋心赋
作词：梁文福　作曲：梁文福　编曲：洪敬尧

海无边　天无际　无边无际无尽期

风凄迷　雨丝密　残泪滴

人遥远　心思念　思思念念只一个你

不回忆　又回忆　空回忆

心上秋　何年何月渐渐染上眉头

眉上秋　早已积成心上忧

心上秋　何时再与那年的你聚首

等是爱　盼是爱　望是爱

问年月　何年月　恨年月

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

一首秋天的歌，却是樱花盛开的春。

没办法，就在这很春的小石头路上，有着很秋的感想。

不想回忆，还又是回忆，却只是空回忆。

永馨，快餐店温书的日子。

一个是全职的，一个是兼职的，所以很多时候都是在一起温书。

素惠，开心地度过的时光。

在一起最长的时间，有着最多的点点滴滴，也有着最多的不可理喻。

慧坚，好奇地走过的小路。

走过了好多的小路小巷，却永远没在同一条道上，永远只在不同的路上巷口平行着。

如果有下一个，希望就是最后一个。

纳闷。。。

知道她还能吃能喝，感到安慰。
知道她仍然打不开心结，就不感到安慰了。

但想不通的也包括，为什么一个熟读佛理的人，会一点“佛意”都没有呢？

从她的部落格里读到，曾经送给她的水壶的吊带有了裂缝，从那天起，她就小心翼翼的使用它。
几天后，吊带就断了。
她就有感而写了些隐射她对我们之间的感情的感触。

她也说一旦察觉到感情有了问题，她就开始小心翼翼的去经营这段感情。
我以为，与其小心翼翼，不如想个解决的方法。
就像水壶吊带，为什么不试试使用强力胶，或试着找别的带子来替代？

随缘？
我以为，随缘不止是让东西或问题存在与心里，然后小心翼翼的应对。
若当时，佛祖也这般随缘的话，他是否会创造出佛教？

若人们都不去想办法解决问题，问题就会很“随缘”的不翼而飞了吗？

早晨 。 想

星期天的早晨，虽然是在上班，但也是一种享受。
大半的时间，都没人来运动，大概都还在梦乡里吧。

其实，很喜欢大清早就起身。有东西作也好，没东西作也罢。
就是喜欢那种城市渐渐苏醒的感觉。。。

当还拥有一份朝九晚五的工作时，星期天的早上都是到蓄水池去跑步的。
其实，还真怀念那一段日子。九十年代末到二千年代初。

如今，踏上了“健康”的事业。要以健康为主。
但自己的生活好像不怎么健康。。。迟睡早起。。。没精打采。。。
唉。。。还怎么做教练啊？

也是该振作起来的时候了。

身影。。。

再见了。。。

关于你和我的对于错。。。

一直到想起了你化作嘴边微笑一抹。。。

我不想爱你到最后把最初都摔破。。。

若向前注定坠落退一步也许能解脱。。。

《爱过你》费翔

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

孤独的身影前面。。。一片喧哗。。。
陆陆续续。。。三五成群。。。
川流不息的车。。。 连绵不绝的人。。。

孤独的身影背后。。。一片沉寂。。。
无人相随。。。无人相伴。。。
空荡荡的房子。。。 空荡荡的脑子。。。（憨呆呆的傻子）

~~~~~~~~~

当一段感情来到了转捩点。。。就是一个该做出决定的时候了。
双方都得考虑是否还要继续。。。
但选择与否，都该尊重对方吧？

一味地执著于曾经说过的话。。。没啥意义。。。
世界在变。。。人也在变。。。想法也会变。。。

哭。。。

不说没人知道，说了也没人信。
虽然是自己提出分手，但却没有一点雀跃的感觉。

无可否认的，在时间安排上是比较灵活多了。

与友人出去也不再有要考虑很多的感觉，但还是觉得，终究是少了个朋友。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

曾几何时，我也开始容易被感动了。。。
发现到，看了些温馨的戏，眼里就会积满泪水。
也不是最近的事，应该有一段日子了。。。
好像是从父亲过世以后。。。

不能说是哭。。。也不能说不是。

奇怪！？！？

写了一大堆，然后说人家耿耿于怀。。。 奇怪！！
不知是谁。。。

做了一些事，经自觉得付出了很多。。。 奇怪！！
付出了何来要求回报。。。

谁敢说自己不是从自己的观点对事物下定论，跟本就不了解自己。。。
人嘛。。。总会以自己有限的智慧去对周遭的事物下判断。
对与否，只有创始人能知道了。
谁能很确定的说他看到的红色，就和别人看到的红色一样红？

不一样。。。

不一样。。。 都不一样了。。。

感觉不一样。。。

心情不一样。。。

情绪不一样。。。

思绪不一样。。。

追求不一样。。。

Za Xiang

Looking out through a partially blocked window, at the members exercising...

For keeping fit, or trying to cut a nicer figure...

What am I doing!?!?

Yah... sitting on my butt... Haha...

That's work... in a sense... can get boring... Very...

*********************

Been thinking and re-thinking...

At this point in time... is it going to be a hindrance or not...

Like everything... it has it's pros and cons...

But somehow it feels more like an anchor...

Am I ready to be in it??

Right now... at this point... I don't think I'm ready...

Too many uncertainties in the life right now... Many instability...

Time of changes...

到不了

到不了



词:范玮琪 曲:张洪量

原唱:范玮琪



你眼睛会笑弯成一条桥

终点却是我永远到不了



感觉你来到是风的呼啸

思念像苦药竟如此难熬

每分每秒



我找不到 我到不了

你所谓的将来的美好

我什麽都不要 知不知道

若你懂我这一秒



我想看到 我在寻找

那所谓的爱情的美好

我紧紧的依靠 紧紧守牢

不敢漏掉一丝一毫



愿你看到

(愿你得到)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



到那里，是不是要有一定的境界。。。

到那里，是不是要有完全的迁就。。。



一路走来。。。我还是找不到。。。还是到不了。。。

Negative comments.... Again!?!?

It is finally revealed to me that whatever that comes out from me is considered negative...

The revelation is that... I'm in fact not the negative one, but it's people who are negative who thinks that I'm being negative...

I agree that I tend to look at the situation from the worst possible scenario first... But I think that's just working from another angle...

People pass comments all the time... whether in jest or being critical...
But that's just what people do... passing a comment... Based on their own perspection of the world... like what make sense to them and what doesn't.

People pass comments when they see something that is not in sync with what is sensible to them or what that challenges their believes...

So isn't telling them to be nice in itself passing a comment that they are not being nice when they all they did was to tell you what they think...??

Been wondering...

Been wondering recently...

Every driver friend or acquaintance whom I've talked to shares the same sentiments that Singaporean drivers are the most impatient driver in the world.

1) Quick to Flash, sometimes extremely long ones like they are going to melt your car with the high beam.

2) Trigger Happy honking, again, those long burst like they can honk you away.

3) Incessantly insisting on their right of way without looking at the bigger picture of the situation, thus refer to 1) and 2).

4) Insist on showing who is the boss by starring at the erronous driver who made a mistake. Again refer to 1) and 2).

But what I'm wondering about is... Who are these drivers??

Everyone seems to agree on the same issue... but no one seems to know any friend who is like that... but everyone at some point would have had encountered these drivers...

So... where are these drivers!?!?

Giving negative comments... Or taking comments negatively??

It is me, to tell people almost straight up what I think of a situation.
If I thought that the person will not be able to take what I have to say... I usually say nothing.
And then people will think that I have got no idea of my own.
But these are the same people who said that you are not sensitive to other's feelings...

When given a situation, I like to think of the failure first.

Being pessimistic and negative?

I beg to differ...

When I think of all the possibility of failure of the situation, I can better plan for it if it really turns out this way, failed...
Failed... but salvaged, because of the pre-planning of the failure... so the situation does not become any worse off than it already is...
I think that this is actually being optimisstic since you are actually trying to make the best out of a lousy situation, instead of moping over what should have been done or what could have been done...
Thinking before hand of all the things that could cause a failure... would it not help in ensuring the success??

So when we are told of a "negative" point, shouldn't we actually look at what was being said. And think of how we can improve on that.
We should actually thank people who gives us negative feedback... because... this IS the only way we can improve.
If we take any comments as negative, aren't we then the negative ones?

If it's a success, be happy that it worked out the way you planned it.
If you received a positive comment, be happy that your effort was appreciated.
But never be happy because you think you are good in it...

I really dislike it...

I really dislike it when people asks you questions and then use your answer against you.

When you stop answering their questions, they say that you don't talk to them anymore...

何以。。。

在我最不经意的时候，
你选择了疏远。
在我最不想的时候，
你选择了离去。

何以如今，选择追究？
何以如今，选择迁怒？

风。。。

夜里吹风，还真的很舒服。
坐在板凳上，让风轻轻的吹着。。。

夜里吹风，还真的很享受。
闭上一双眼，听风轻轻的吹着。。。

与友人一起吹风，谈谈往事。

轻轻按摩着手，根根手指皆按。
轻轻按摩着手，皆按指骨根根。

一指接一指。。。轻轻的。。。柔柔的。。。
像吹风一样。。。轻轻的。。。柔柔的。。。

You don't look sad...

After she knows that I had ended a relationship, my cousin said "You don't look sad at all..."

Do I have to??

Do I have to always let people know how I feel? Or rather show people how I feel...

I feel what I feel inside of me...
Why let what I feel affect how you should feel when I meet you?

Every meeting up is unique in it's own way.
Just like every individual is unique in their own ways.
So why should I make you feel what I feel when you will never know exactly what I feel.
How long should I make you feel what I feel before you get tired of me feeling what I feel?

So it's true... I don't look sad... but it does not mean I'm not.

Soon...

A cabby was talking to me.

He suddenly asked if I have any children. That was a surprise... Didn't know I looked like I'm married... Time, likes to leave a trace everywhere it goes...

Told him I just ended a relationship.

Immediately he said that I'd soon get into another one and settle down. Just like his brother-in-law, who got engaged 6 months into a relationship.

Was he trying to console me?

It set me thinking.

Do I want to get into a relationship soon?
Or is it more like...
Do I want to get out of the loneliness soon?

巧。。。

就这么巧，从电视节目里，看见了过去。

又见陌生却又熟悉的街景。

一起走过的每一块地砖。凹凸不平。。。
不曾埋怨过。。。

一起经过的每一家店铺。琳琅满目。。。
不曾犹豫过。。。

五月炎热的下午，泡在冷气电影院。
先别坐得太舒服，开演前得先起立。
不一样的开始。
看完戏。
一样曲终人散。

“辽垮” "辽塞“ “套来那咖”
的是司机说：“劲！”

死亡列车缓缓行。
行过不少断崖，行过不少断魂的辛劳。
死亡列车继续走。
带走一些的我，带走了曾经的你和我。

望。。。

当你发现人家对你撒谎。。。

失望


当你已不再在乎人家所说的。。。

绝望

Ended before the end...

I made her cry... But not because she was sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why I love my darling?

When things go wrong and everything seems bad,
She's always there to give me a pat.

When I get hungry in the middle of the night,
She's always willing to go for a bite.

She loves her Prata, plain with sugar,
Just like me when I was young and juvenille.

She always try to appear trim and proper,
In her princess like way, so that she can be a model.

Always waiting for my reassurance,
Always wanting my confirmation.

Never tiring from my senseless nonsense,
But actually laughing to the incessant gibber.

For being who she is,
For trying to be who she wants to be.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made her cry... because she read this.

She asked is that all? I said I'm not done yet.

She asked when will she get to see more? I said in due time she will.

I never meant for it to be done... Never meant for it to end.

I wanted to add on to it... More and more with time.

But still... it ended before the end.

轻风.凉夜.蓄水池

一下车，迎面凉风吹来。吹走了一点困意。

走向蓄水池的水坝。走在轻风微微的夜。

看看地上自己的影子。一条路，一个人，一个影子。
看看水面被风吹起的涟漪。一池水，满是涟，一涟一涟。

思绪混乱交错

突然，路上滑过一条发亮物体。缓缓滑过。
仔细看去，是条二米来长的蛇。
顿足不动，直看这蛇往那里滑。
它翻过矮石墙，往水池滑去了。
本想找矮石墙某处坐下，但见到了这夜行者，打消了念头。

思绪混乱交错

倚在个栏杆，让轻风吹着，享受这凉夜。
凉风吹来，慢慢细想。
凉风吹来，胡思乱想。

闭上眼，细细感觉。
风，触摸着他脸上的轮廓，头上的发。
丰，触摸着她脸上的轮廓，及腰的发。

闭上眼，细细感受。
风，吹走的困意，吹来的凉意。
丰，被吹走的凉意，被吹来的困意。

过得几分钟，新年已至。

该收拾心情，该回家了。

伤了和气

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

星期天早上排队看场电影 却为虚构的爱情哭红眼睛
心情浓得想要远行 转进街角的Cafe
吉普赛的音乐很强烈

六月的天气十二月的心情 寄给你的信很久没有回音
朋友问起你的消息 我总装作不在意
耸耸肩轻描淡写说

* 我们只是伤了和气 我们只是暂时别离
没有什么事情 我总是说
我们只是伤了和气 你的离去不是放弃 唔。。。
我的爱渴望新剧情

最后一张明信片没有说明 爱情来来去去该有谁决定
朋友问起你的消息 我总装作不在意
耸耸肩轻描淡写说
*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

朋友还真的问了。也没什么好隐藏的。

但当真只是伤了和气吗？

我看不服气才是真的。

粉红

香港一游， 不觉其有何特别之处。倒觉得没离开新加坡似的。不知是港剧看得太多了，还是风景区就是那几个？

可能因为心情也不算太好吧。。。

心里想的都是如何去取悦。。。粉红。。。

走在女人街，男人街。。。粉红。。。

走在尖沙嘴，旺角。。。粉红。。。

终于在 APM 找到了要买的。。。粉红。。。

Adidas 还是 Puma ?

想了好久，终于做了抉择。。。粉红。。。

然而。。。人面不知何处去，桃花依旧笑春风。。。

粉红夹克。。。取悦。。。闷。。。思。。。

放。。。

有一天世修和尚和他的师弟来到一处要渡河的地方。 有位女施主也在该处，正想办法要渡河。 见到两位和尚， 便请他们帮忙。

师弟道：“男女授受不亲，更何况我们是出家人。“

女施主仍然恳求两位和尚帮忙。

世修和尚就把女施主背起来， 渡河去了。 到了对岸，再把女施主放下。 女施主答谢了世修和尚，就离开了。

师弟就一直骂他。说出家人怎么可以有这样的行为。

走了好一段路，师弟仍然在骂他。

世修道：“我早就把她放下了，你为什么还背着她呢？“

i carried your heart with me

I carry your heart with me, since the day we started.
No matter where I went, there was always a place for you.

In between talking to customers, in between my meals.
In between driving from point to point, always before I sleep.

I carried your heart with me... Now I need to return it...

Used to...

I used to have a wife... Who used to stand by me.
Who always planned her time so that she can get around to meeting me.

I used to have a love... Who used to say she loves me.
Who always end her conversations... "I love you, my hubby."

I used to have a friend... Who used to hang with me.
Who used to always go out with me whenever possible.

I used to have a friend... Who said she'll stand by me.
If I moved a step front or back, she'll do likewise with me.

I used to have a love... Who said she'll always love me.
Who always put her face close to my ear and whisper "I love you."

I used to have a wife... Who said she'll always hang around me.
Who said no matter how boring it got, she'll still find joy with me.

Now I looked for the friend... whom I don't see for days on ends...
The days are turning into weeks.... And the weeks very soon to months...

If she noticed it, she does not say...
If she realised it, she does not let it show...

On and on she moves... Nearer and nearer to her goals...
On and on I move... Further and further from her thoughts...

On and on she moves... Nearer and nearer to her dreams...
On and on we move... Further and further from each other...

I used to have a friend... a wife... a love...

To close or not to close

Shall we close it dear? Or shall we let it bust?
We started it with hopes of Union. Alas hopes, remained hopes.
Funds put aside for Union preparations, Funds that became your personal expenses.
It's disheartening to see it deplete, Full one moment, gone the next.
Never quite reaching our expectation.
Shall we close it dear? Or shall we let it bust?

It shall never be...

If expressing one's thoughts and feeling is equivalent to not showing support.

It shall never be known, again.

看见。。。听见。。。

你永远无法知道，你让我看见你看到我的时候的那种表情。

也永远无法知道，你让我听见你看到我的时候的语气的心情。

久未相见的表情，原来是这么惊喜的。

你走啦，你走。。。 不停的回响。

你走啦，你走。。。

天冷就回来。。。

从前对着收音机，学唱旧的歌。
我问妈妈为什么 伤心像快乐。
妈妈笑着说她也不懂得。
我要出去走一走，哦妈妈点点头。

天冷你就回来，别在风中徘徊。
妈妈的眼里有明白，还有一丝无奈。
天冷我想回家，童年已经不在。
昨天的雨点洒下来，那滋味叫做爱。

渐渐对着收音机，学唱新的歌。
我问朋友为什么，做梦也快乐。
朋友笑说，她从不相信梦。
我要出去走一走，哦朋友点点头。

天冷你就回来，别在风中徘徊。
朋友的眼里有明白，还有一份期待。
天冷我想回家，年少已经不在。
今天的雨点洒下来，那滋味就是爱。

现在对着收音机，听自己唱的歌。
我的他问为什么，幸福不快乐。
我微笑着，说我也不懂得。
他想出去走一走，我对他点点头。

天冷你就回来，别在风中徘徊。
我猜我眼里有明白，还有一丝无奈。
天冷他没回来，我仍然在等待。
明天的雨点洒下来，那滋味就是爱。

词/曲 梁文福

唱 陈洁仪（2002）

迟一点再。。。

“迟一点再，迟一点再。。。“

但“迟一点再“总是都没兑现。

“你应该试着谅解我的处境。“ 已经很努力了，但你的处境似乎每况愈下。 难以理解。。。

“你就不会主动一点吗？“ 当主动所换来的是不接听，不回电。毫无讯息。这样的主动，你要吗？

踏入社会之前之后的落差真有这么大吗？

之前说应该怎样怎样，之后却换了一个说法。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

心痛。。。 为什么不？

当你说你没空回电时, 我信了。

但你却能在一起用餐时，看电影时，不停的回简讯。

可知道心痛的程度有多大吗？

Yes is No...... No is Yes?

All my life, 'Yes' means Yes and 'No' means No. Simple, straight forward, no confusion to that.

There is however a breed that insist on using yes to mean no. And no to mean yes...

Does this not confuse people?

This breed always seem to expect others to be able to read their mind by saying no when they mean yes. And when double checked to see if they really mean no, they get exasperated that they were not understood......

How to?? When No to you means both yes and no. And a yes to you means both yes and no again......

Ideas are best communicated in a short simple direct manner......

觉得。。。

总觉得，认识了一些新朋友，知道了新的观念。
现在的你已不是当时的你。
曾经什么都会告诉我，
如今是什么说了不会让我生气的才告诉我，
将来会不会变成能不告诉我就不告诉我？

你说你生病了，我亦知道你病了。
但你竟然还和友人去做日光浴。

你说你很忙，无暇回我的电。
我亦了解你很忙， 我亦能体会。
但你竟然连像在看电影时拚命打的简讯也没发一个。

你说你生气，因为我没事先通知你我的计划。
但能否也让我气一气，因为你亦不事先通知我你的计划。

或许，我会失去你。
或许，我早已失去你。

It happened...

The long awaited and dreaded news finally became entrenched into our mobile's sms...

She's gone... peacefully...

I do believe it was a peaceful departure.

She'd been saying that she's been feeling tired. A very clear sign that her body will not be holding out much longer...

She'd said that she's on oxygen mask, a sign also that her body is not able to function properly anymore...

Over the last few months... she seemed weaker each time I visited her...

Regardless of the optimism she shows when we talk to her... I've always wondered if she'd really believed that she'd recover in time to come.

Through this incident, I've come to think deeper on the impact of things said between a patient and a visitor.

In our bid to encourage a patient, we tend to entice them with promises of doing things with them so as to create in them a desire to recover quickly. Unknowingly, we'd actually created more regrets for them. Would they leave with regrets of not being able to do those things that were meant to encourage them in the first place? I would. A promse is a promise...

Happenings...

Things happen really fast these days...

Since i last wrote anything on the blog, so much had happened. I can't say that it didn't have any effect on me. But being the stone that i am, it is hardly noticeable.

This will be the first of many years to come that i will no longer get angered by someone turning up the temperature of the aircon in my room.

No longer have someone spying on me when i watch TV till the wee hours.

No longer have someone "demanding" me to get food.

It is always the last rites on the day of the funeral procession when it gets most emotional. Stone as I might be, it still does affect me to a certain extent when you know that someone will no longer be there.

Someone.... My Father.... someone...

My only regret is that i will never have a chance to let him see me get married and have childrens. A worry that he held till his departure.

******************************************************************************

Then there is my friend who is currently in hospital fighting for her life. She is not in any immediate danger but it seems to me that the malicious cells are wreaking havoc in her body. First her neck, then her hip, then her lungs and then now her brain - resulting in a double vision in one of her eyes.

The immediate future, a series of radio and chemo therapy.

There is nothing much I can do, but to visit her now and then. It saddens me to see a friend in such a bad shape. But what else can i do?

"I'm not giving up as yet." These are indeed courageous words. And i wish her the best in her fight.

******************************************************************************

I have never made any resolutions. But I have made one. To do what I want. I've always thought that life is short. Now, I've come to realise it IS short. Why do I still waste my time doing something that I do not like? Why do I hold back on trying something that I thought I might be interested in?

My friend has lots of things that she wants to do, but whether she still has a chance to do most of them is anybody's guess.

So I'm resolved, no matter what, that I will attain what i want.

Affection...

Affection is a moderate feeling or emotion. Something small, something meaningful. To me, It really is something subtle. Like holding hands. Pulling dirt out from the hair. Having tea together late at night. It is something that is shared between 2 persons.

Why must it be pulicly displayed? Knowing full well that some people are offended by it.

She can smile,
She can laugh,
But a mist shrouds her that is called Depression.

She will sigh,
She will cry,
If she allows, it devours her.

Understand it.
I really don't.

Empathise with her.
I'll try.

I really can't make head or tail of this mist.

More on changes

Physical changes...

This is the easy one. Want to grow fat? Just keep eating... especially supper. Cut down on all excercises. Guaranteed change to a socially unwanted shape in no time. Unless you happen to live in the Tang Dynasty...

Want to look good? Still keep to the eating, eat more meals, BUT, smaller portions each time. Supper is a definite no-no. Excercise is a "Do-or-Forget-about-looking-good" thingy. In time to come, you'd be looking good in almost anything you pick up in a store. Why in time to come? Because it depends on how bad you want it.

Mental/Attitude changes...

That's a whole new ball game.

Changes...

Just made some changes to the appearance of the blog.

Does it signify that I'm looking into some changes too?

Maybe...

Some thoughts...

Bonus...

With March ending and April approaching, everyone in the office seems to be eagerly anticipating the BONUS!!

I have colleagues complaining about "Why can't they just let us know quickly when we are going to get it and how much we are going to get first?" And the rational behind this "frustration"? - "So i can plan how to use it."

Hmmm... Since when did the company owe us a bonus anyway?

From the Collins English Mini Dictionary: Bonus = something given, paid, or received above what is due or expected.

So why do we still expect that the company MUST give us a bonus??

If you don't get it... Try harder this year.

If you do get it... Hey! It's a bonus for your hard work last year. Enjoy!

*********************************************************************************

Asking for help??

Why do people deny the existence of the almighty and yet still ask him for help?
-"If you are really there, please..."

Principled??

Why do people always try to appear principled when all they really are is being plain petty?
-"It's not a matter of how much it is. It is a matter of principle..."

Gentlemenly

Being gentlemenly had been greatly misunderstood.
Simply put, it is just the ability to make other people feel comfortable.

Test test?

After reading a few blogs, i find that it is almost like a diary. Just that other people get to see them.

Keeping a diary was something i used to do. It was a source of release for pent up frustrations. It serves it's purpose in calming me down, but from another point of view, it serves no other purposes since nobody ever gets to see them.... till someday when you are gone.

So blogging is probably one way that allows other people to see what we feel.

Somehow in this day and age, where we are much more likely to get online and type than getting a pen to write, blogging has become a good source of anger release. Now i wonder if writing fervently in a diary is the same as hammering away on the keyboard. Human beings are indeed violent creatures who need to vent their anger on something else to attain peace of mind afterwards....