You don't look sad...

After she knows that I had ended a relationship, my cousin said "You don't look sad at all..."

Do I have to??

Do I have to always let people know how I feel? Or rather show people how I feel...

I feel what I feel inside of me...
Why let what I feel affect how you should feel when I meet you?

Every meeting up is unique in it's own way.
Just like every individual is unique in their own ways.
So why should I make you feel what I feel when you will never know exactly what I feel.
How long should I make you feel what I feel before you get tired of me feeling what I feel?

So it's true... I don't look sad... but it does not mean I'm not.

Soon...

A cabby was talking to me.

He suddenly asked if I have any children. That was a surprise... Didn't know I looked like I'm married... Time, likes to leave a trace everywhere it goes...

Told him I just ended a relationship.

Immediately he said that I'd soon get into another one and settle down. Just like his brother-in-law, who got engaged 6 months into a relationship.

Was he trying to console me?

It set me thinking.

Do I want to get into a relationship soon?
Or is it more like...
Do I want to get out of the loneliness soon?

巧。。。

就这么巧，从电视节目里，看见了过去。

又见陌生却又熟悉的街景。

一起走过的每一块地砖。凹凸不平。。。
不曾埋怨过。。。

一起经过的每一家店铺。琳琅满目。。。
不曾犹豫过。。。

五月炎热的下午，泡在冷气电影院。
先别坐得太舒服，开演前得先起立。
不一样的开始。
看完戏。
一样曲终人散。

“辽垮” "辽塞“ “套来那咖”
的是司机说：“劲！”

死亡列车缓缓行。
行过不少断崖，行过不少断魂的辛劳。
死亡列车继续走。
带走一些的我，带走了曾经的你和我。

望。。。

当你发现人家对你撒谎。。。

失望


当你已不再在乎人家所说的。。。

绝望

Ended before the end...

I made her cry... But not because she was sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why I love my darling?

When things go wrong and everything seems bad,
She's always there to give me a pat.

When I get hungry in the middle of the night,
She's always willing to go for a bite.

She loves her Prata, plain with sugar,
Just like me when I was young and juvenille.

She always try to appear trim and proper,
In her princess like way, so that she can be a model.

Always waiting for my reassurance,
Always wanting my confirmation.

Never tiring from my senseless nonsense,
But actually laughing to the incessant gibber.

For being who she is,
For trying to be who she wants to be.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made her cry... because she read this.

She asked is that all? I said I'm not done yet.

She asked when will she get to see more? I said in due time she will.

I never meant for it to be done... Never meant for it to end.

I wanted to add on to it... More and more with time.

But still... it ended before the end.

轻风.凉夜.蓄水池

一下车，迎面凉风吹来。吹走了一点困意。

走向蓄水池的水坝。走在轻风微微的夜。

看看地上自己的影子。一条路，一个人，一个影子。
看看水面被风吹起的涟漪。一池水，满是涟，一涟一涟。

思绪混乱交错

突然，路上滑过一条发亮物体。缓缓滑过。
仔细看去，是条二米来长的蛇。
顿足不动，直看这蛇往那里滑。
它翻过矮石墙，往水池滑去了。
本想找矮石墙某处坐下，但见到了这夜行者，打消了念头。

思绪混乱交错

倚在个栏杆，让轻风吹着，享受这凉夜。
凉风吹来，慢慢细想。
凉风吹来，胡思乱想。

闭上眼，细细感觉。
风，触摸着他脸上的轮廓，头上的发。
丰，触摸着她脸上的轮廓，及腰的发。

闭上眼，细细感受。
风，吹走的困意，吹来的凉意。
丰，被吹走的凉意，被吹来的困意。

过得几分钟，新年已至。

该收拾心情，该回家了。